Arctic Monkeys, The Last Shadow Puppets and Alex Turner RANKED
Indisputably one of the most important bands of the 21st century already, the ascension of Arctic Monkeys in the mid-2000s marked a shift in the music industry that shaped the entire way we listen to music now in 2020. Riding the MySpace wave, Alex Turner took the UK by storm in 2006 with 'Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not' becoming the fastest selling debut album in British history and showing the world that the internet was going to shake the foundations of the music industry right to its core.
Now, the discography of the Sheffield songwriter already places him in the pantheon of all-time greats. From five excellent Arctic Monkeys records (Ed - Suck it And See Is Shit) a soundtrack to Richard Ayoade's Submarine and two phenomenal collaborations with Miles Kane under the banner of The Last Shadow Puppets, in less than 15 years Alex Turner has proved himself to be one of the world's greatest ever songwriters.
Now let's ruin all that by trying to objectively rank them all!
Also, make sure to check out our playlist on spotify - for ONE WEEK it will host all 30(ish) of these songs for you to listen to. Follow our playlist here.
30. DANCING SHOES
(Whatever People Say I Am..., 2006)
When songs like this only come 30th then you know it's an impressive discography. Amazing bass line from Andy Nicholson - one of a lot of great riffs on the Monkey's debut.
29. OLD YELLOW BRICKS
(Favourite Worst Nightmare, 2007)
Massively underappreciated track from Arctic Monkeys' second album. Come for the Wizard of Oz metaphors, stick around to hear Turner rhyme "risk" with "escapologist." Fire.
28. SWEET DREAMS, TN
(Everything You've Come To Expect, 2016)
Why is Alex Turner singing the word "Tennessee" so sexually attractive? The Last Shadow Puppets are the most elaborate side project in the world and we all love it.
27. MATADOR
(Da Frame 2R / Matador, 2007)
Lesser known B-Side from the Favourite Worst Nightmare era. Matt Helders just takes the piss on the drums. The beat switch halfway through is so unbelievably filthy.
26. STAR TREATMENT / ONE POINT PERSPECTIVE
(Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino, 2018)
Take your bucket hat off. Tranquility Base... is a great album. The opening tracks from it are crafted with some of the absolute best of Alex Turner's lyrics. Can't separate the two of them though so just listen to them together x
25. SECRET DOOR
(Humbug, 2009)
Alex Turner released a classic album every year between 2006 and 2009. Obscene. This song is one not to be missed from AM's third LP, Humbug.
24. STANDING NEXT TO ME
(The Age Of The Understatement, 2008)
The Last Shadow Puppets' debut album is like if Ennio Morricone made a James Bond soundtrack, and then handed the vocals to two squeaky-voiced Northerners. It's great.
23. LEAVE BEFORE THE LIGHTS COME ON
(Leave Before The Lights Come On, 2006)
A tune that narrowly missed out being on the first Monkey's album. Great little song with a gorgeous chorus.
22. DO ME A FAVOUR
(Favourite Worst Nightmare, 2007)
Another horrendously underappreciated track from Favourite Worst Nightmare. Builds up into a fantastic ending.
21. STUCK ON THE PUZZLE
(Submarine, 2011)
It's become a cliché to fawn over Alex Turner's original soundtrack to Submarine, but it really just is that good. Vulnerable, sweet and sincere.
20. CRYING LIGHTNING
(Humbug, 2009)
That bass tone. Dear lord. Yes please.
19. THE VIEW FROM THE AFTERNOON
(Whatever People Say I Am..., 2006)
This is how you start an album. The shared rhythm between the guitars of Jamie Cook and Alex Turner towards the end is joyous.
18. ARABELLA
(AM, 2013)
The first song on this list, and by no means the last, from what is probably Arctic Monkeys' most complete record. What a solo as well.
17. BRIANSTORM
(Favourite Worst Nightmare, 2007)
Matt Helders. That's it. This isn't just fast drumming, this is one of the greatest drumming performances of all time. Listen to this isolated track - just so you know it's all real.
16. THE AGE OF THE UNDERSTATEMENT
(The Age Of The Understatement, 2008)
It's like riding a horse!
15. NO BUSES
(Who The Fuck Are Arctic Monkeys?, 2006)
Another song that's likely slipped through the cracks of many fans, 'No Buses' is a gem from the group's EP Who The Fuck Are Arctic Monkeys and you shouldn't have to miss out on it any longer.
14. MARDY BUM
(Whatever People Say I Am..., 2006)
People were very upset that Arctic Monkeys stopped playing 'Mardy Bum' live in their most recent tour setlists. That should demonstrate just how beloved this track is.
13. RIOT VAN
(Whatever People Say I Am..., 2006)
Trying to remove bias here because this is undoubtedly my favourite Arctic Monkeys song. Turner paints a picture of Sheffield youths pissing off the police, behind lusciously sedate instrumentation.
12. TEDDY PICKER
(Favourite Worst Nightmare, 2007)
Turner takes aim at superficiality in the music industry, with some well-disguised attacks at the Simon Cowell's of the world. Amazing tune.
11. R U MINE?
(AM, 2013)
The song that sparked one of the most dramatic shifts in sound in recent rock memory. 'R U Mine?' is the reason we have AM. The riff is supremely satisfying, the chorus unforgettable and Matt Helder's backing falsetto is utterly iconic.
10. FROM THE RITZ TO THE RUBBLE
(Whatever People Say I Am..., 2006)
"Well last night these two bouncers, and one of 'em's alright, the other one's a scary 'un, his way or no way: totalitarian." Brilliant lyricism mixed together with an electric pace and a feisty chorus. Part of the phenomenal trilogy that finishes off the debut album, this song is genius.
9. ONLY ONES WHO KNOW
(Favourite Worst Nightmare, 2007)
One of the most beautifully honest songs Turner has ever put to page, 'Only Ones Who Know' stands out as an excellent track, even surrounded by songs as incredible as those on show on Favourite Worst Nightmare.
8. A CERTAIN ROMANCE
(Whatever People Say I Am..., 2006)
This is how you close an album. Once upon a time, it was a great way to close a set too, but recently this song has found itself lost from the live setlists from the band. That's a crying shame, because this is a brilliant song, 'knackered converse' and all.
7. WHY'D YOU ONLY CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE HIGH?
(AM, 2013)
Our American readers will very likely have found themselves introduced to Arctic Monkeys in 2013 with the release of AM. This album made waves across the Atlantic perhaps as monumentally as Whatever People Say I Am... managed in the UK in 2006. Among that fine 2013 LP however, '...When You're High?' is a stellar effort, combining a fantastically staccato riff with a jumpy beat all the while Turner sits crooning on top of his rotary cabinets and sad text messages.
6. MY MISTAKES WERE MADE FOR YOU
(The Age Of The Understatement, 2008)
The very best song released by The Last Shadow Puppets. Perfectly fusing the cinematic scope of an orchestra with soft lyrical confessions, tremolo guitar chords and a perfectly McCartney-esque bass. The songwriting oozes mystery and intrigue, as Turner despondently eulogises "she was bitten on her birthday and now, a face in the crowd she's not." It's as satisfying to read as it is to hear, and proves the undeniable class of this Sheffield rockstar.
5. I BET YOU LOOK GOOD ON THE DANCEFLOOR
(Whatever People Say I Am..., 2006)
Leaning heavily into a distinctly punkish sound, the pungent distortion of 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor' is immediately recognisable. The opening chords are as much a statement of intent as it is a warning to everyone in the arena that you are very much running out of time before an inescapable mosh pit forms in the front. In the UK, this can likely be considered the band's single most iconic track, appropriate for a tune that was first released back in 2005 as one of Arctic Monkey's first ever singles, still standing out as a high point in the group's discography.
4. DO I WANNA KNOW?
(AM, 2013)
'R U Mine?' may well have been the song that sparked AM's shift in sound, but it is with 'Do I Wanna Know?' that the 2013 LP proved its quality. Simultaneously sexy, wistful and even a little intimidating, this riff will go down in history as one of the greatest to ever be written. This is a song that made a great deal of the world fall in love with Arctic Monkeys, and that's no small feat. AM may have rotated itself into being considered an 'overplayed' record, but make absolutely no mistake about this song. It is objectively fantastic.
3. 505
(Favourite Worst Nightmare, 2007)
Two chords. That's it.
One of the simplest songs you will ever hear, '505' is written just flicking back and forth between two minor chords, with nothing else complicating the matter. From that though, Alex Turner crafted an utterly captivating tune that has us all still theorising exactly where that '505' is. Complimented by Miles Kane's exceptional guitar work (just prior to the two joining forces for The Age of The Understatement) this tracks builds and builds in its intensity, slowly growing larger and larger before blasting listeners with an earth shattering ending. Masterpiece.
2. FLUORESCENT ADOLESCENT
(Favourite Worst Nightmare, 2007)
If this song doesn't flatten you with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, then I pity your younger years. This song has found itself a soundtrack to warm summers, cold winters and everything in between. Nostalgia removed however, this is obviously a fantastic song - and you don't need me to tell you that. Turner takes on the narrative position of a woman in a mid-life crisis, fantasising over memories of her younger sexual exploits. The maturity and intelligence with which Turner tackles his imagined persona is, in my opinion, Bowie and McCartney levels of clever introspection - wholeheartedly inhabiting his imaginary character, and giving her a distinct voice amidst one of the very best rock albums of the 2000's.
1. WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN
(Whatever People Say I Am..., 2006)
Even better than 'Fluorescent Adolescent', the greatest song of Alex Turner's phenomenal catalogue is a title deservedly bestowed to this track from their very first record. Describing the plights of a vulnerable woman exploited into sex work by a truly "scummy man", 'When The Sun Goes Down' is an extraordinarily well-crafted tune from a young musician, let alone one releasing their debut album. From the very first moment Arctic Monkeys grabbed a hold of the nation's consciousness, they demonstrated just how essential they were to be heard. They are rightly considered one of the 21st century's very finest bands, and this should be seen right at the top of the pyramid of their greatest songs.
Don't forget to follow our playlist with this link to hear the 30 greatest Alex Turner songs, and then hear our 'best of March 2020' playlist on the 1st of April.
Ben Wheadon is editor and founder of Slow Motion Panic Masters. He is a Welsh musician and English Literature student at King's College, London and he should be writing a dissertation instead of creating a blog.
Thanks for reading! Slow Motion Panic Masters is a music, arts and culture blog created and edited by Ben Wheadon, a literature student and musician based in London, England.
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